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A research has shown that couples in which the wife is better looking than her husband live happier than those in which the husband is better looking than his wife.

Researchers believe that men place great value on beauty while all that women want is to have a supportive husband. This research really gives me a great insight on how to treat women and obviously answers my one-million-dollar question: “What the heck is that cute girl looking from a man like that?”

Now I know my friends and I were wrong when we used to say to a weirdo holding a beautiful woman’s hand, “Damn, you must be rich.”

What we should’ve said was, “Wow, you’re so supportive to your woman.”

James McNulty, the lead researcher, explains that the husband who’s less physically attractive than his wife is getting something more than he can expect to get so he’s going to work hard to maintain the relationship.

Meanwhile, McNulty explains, men who are more attractive than their partners would theoretically have access to partners who are more attractive than their current partners. It’s “the grass is greener” mentality that makes men are less satisfied and committed to maintain the marriage.

This research approves the fact that it’s men who don’t appreciate inner beauty.

A man would walk to a car dealer and say, “Wow that car looks so cool. I really like the exterior design. How much is it? I’ll buy one.” While a woman would walk to a car dealer and wouldn’t say much at first. A salesman approaches and says, “How can I help you? That car right there is a beauty.” She then answers, “Yes it is. But what about the engine and its interior design?”

So please, men, when I wrote that “Men Are Stupid” I really meant it. I do think that we are stupid and we need to stop being selfish and learn from women on how to value inner beauty better.

We need to be supportive. Although I don’t really know what it means but I guess it’s when our partners are in trouble we can be there to help them.

McNulty gives a clue on how to be supportive: Say, “Hey, I’m here for you; what do you want me to do?; how can I help you?” instead of, “This is your problem, you deal with it.”

Sounds easy right? Not in reality though.

Picture was taken from here.

Above picture is Miss Universe 2008. Her name is Dayana Mendoza and she’s from the country that’s long been known for its beautiful women, Venezuela. As you can see, she’s beautiful, she’s tall, and yes she’s hot.

Of course you can’t blame Mendoza to be pretty and attractive. I’m sure she has been working so hard to have a wonderful physical appearance and, I think, she deserves a recognition.

But the question that I’d like to arise is, “Does a Queen or Miss Universe have to be beautiful?” By asking such question doesn’t mean I have lost my appetite to admire beautiful women. Having my first adult life in a city like Jakarta I learned that beautiful women, especially the ones with long hair, are valued more than not-so-beautiful women.

I think in every culture queens or princesses are always depicted beautiful. You, of course, are familiar with children’s stories like Cinderella. Why does the beautiful Cinderella have to be nice at the same time while her stepsisters are evil and ugly? No wonder the handsome prince chooses Cinderella.

Indonesian culture is no different. Our folktales also tell children that queens are suppossed to be beautiful and nice at the same time.

It seems to me that every culture in the world has enforced its people to have that kind of mindset. So when Donald Trump decided Mendoza is Miss Universe 2008 no one disagrees because, yes, she’s beautiful.

Beauty contests like Miss Universe, Miss World, or Putri Indonesia have made the old proverb the Inner beauty is the real beauty sound so boring. That it’s just a tagline used by Dove.

But unlike what those beauty contests are showing, in reality, based on my experience, beautiful women are usually the ones with bit*hy attitude. They don’t want to eat any food, they shop expensive things, and they walk as if the street was a catwalk.

Of course there’s always an exception. I had some beautiful friends who were nice and friendly. Some even made the mosque as their base camp. But the sad thing about them was that they were always taken.

Who do you think is more beautiful? A physically attractive woman with not-so-good attitude or a less attractive woman with a big heart?

The answer will be diverse and I don’t think one could be blamed for choosing one position. It’s life and it’s your choice.

But one thing for sure, a man who chooses someone as beautiful as Mendoza, without a doubt, has to prepare to save a lot of extra money to support her needs so she can always be attractive. While a man who chooses a B-looking woman may not be required to spend as much money on her beauty supplies.

What’s your choice?

This article was published by The Jakarta Post on July 17, 2008. Read the article on The Jakarta Post, here.

If you ask me what makes Americans so smart my answer is very simple: Because they read books. By that I mean lots of books.

In America it’s not an unusual view to see someone placing his or her left hand onto the holding bar and reading a thick novel with the right hand while standing in a subway car during the rush hour.

It seems that reading is something that is so much valued and appreciated.

Unlike Indonesians, Americans have a much better access to books. Finding books and reading them for free are not difficult at all. In Jakarta, I remember, I had to be clever to find ways to read books for free at bookstores. The challenge for me was tough, bookstores in Jakarta are probably intentionally designed to be uncomfortable as much as possible for so-called cheaters like me. They just wanted me to pick a book, buy it, and leave.

In America it’s a different story. Bookstores like Barnes and Noble and Borders, to my surprise at first, let their customers read their books as many and as long as possible. They even provide their customers with comfy chairs. No sealed books or magazines, you can grab any book you want and get a perfect spot to read it for free! If you have some money to spend you can buy their coffee and enjoy it with the book you’ve been dreaming to read, but let me remind you that buying the coffee is not obligatory.

Bookstores are not the only places to find books in America. For some Americans, public libraries are so much better than bookstores. And I have to salute American government for this matter. Americans are indeed so lucky to be blessed by the easy access of knowledge and information.

In the county where I live, there are twenty one public libraries that will happily serve their residents. Getting a membership card is so easy and it only takes a few minutes after you present your ID card. The facilities are amazing. Read the Full Article!

This article was published by The Jakarta Post on May 19, 2008 as part of a special report celebrating Indonesia’s 100^th Year of National Awakening. Read the article on The Jakarta Post, here.

It’s not easy to be a young Indonesian. The challenges are great and tough. Some of you might wish that you had been born in an advanced country like America or Japan so that you wouldn’t have to witness the poor crying for food every single day.

It’s the burden that I have to carry. A burden that you, your friends, and any other young Indonesian have to carry. It’s the burden that our founding fathers wanted us to carry.

It’s what young Indonesians have been pressured to do: To make a big change to our society.

Some say that a country’s greatness depends on its young people. Some say that it’s always the young people who make the great changes to one society. They say that the young people are the ones with a great motivation and energy. They are the brave and the optimistic ones. They’re the ones who dare to fight against injustice.

In 1908, several young Indonesian intellectuals living in The Netherlands established the first Indonesian political organization called Budi Utomo*. This organization was probably the first group of young Indonesians who felt the urgency to spread the spirit of nationalism throughout the country. Their efforts proved to be revolutionary.

Ninety years later it was the young Indonesians who fought and stood up against the dictatorship. The 1998 movement resulted one word that would be part of our daily conversation and lives for the next several years, and that word was reformasi. The young Indonesians were praised at that time for their courage.

But ten years after reformasi and a hundred years after Budi Utomo, it is sad to know that I see more pessimism than optimism among the young Indonesians. Everywhere I go I meet young Indonesians who think that there’s nothing we can do to Indonesia. They simply say, “It’s Indonesia, what can you expect?” Read the Full Article!

This article was published by The Jakarta Post on May 12, 2008. Read the article on The Jakarta Post, here.

Yes we hate America. We hate their stupid culture and we condemn their arrogance. George W. Bush is the worst American president and it’s so exciting that even most Americans think that way too. We curse at them when we see news on TV about Afghanistan and Iraq.

We feel offended when they call our Muslim brothers and sisters terrorists. Thus, some of us even praise Osama bin Laden for his notorious success in making America look like a fool.

We support every demonstration in front of the U.S. Embassy and burning their flag is fine because it’s a representation of our solidarity to those who are oppressed and poor.

And we wish someday we could have a president like Sukarno again who bravely said to America, “Go to hell with your aid!”

But shamefully, the reality is we actually love America so badly. We have to admit this fact.

Of course we do, that’s why there’s McDonald’s on every corner in Jakarta. Of course we do, that’s why Starbucks is the coolest place to hang out for young Indonesians in Jakarta. And of course we do, that’s why more and more young Indonesians in small cities dress themselves like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

Who doesn’t love American movies? At least I do. I love Al Pacino and Robert De Niro. I love Steven Spielberg and Martin Scorsese. In my opinion, Hollywood movies are the greatest heritage of American pop culture.

Let’s face it, we can’t avoid America. Especially the young ones. Everywhere we go and everytime we breath we see America with all its products and values.

Some of us can’t live without a computer and internet connection. We worship Bill Gates for inventing softwares that enable us to live so much easier.

Some of us can’t live without an iPod, the small gadget created by Steve Jobs has become part of our daily lives. And we use it to listen to our favorite American singers like Mariah Carey and Usher.

It’s inevitably to avoid America, you may say you hate it but deep down inside you know you love it too. At least you know you love their inventions on technology.

Believe it or not, even Indonesians who love to perform demonstrations on the streets and sometimes protest against American policies actually watch CNN to grasp some of America’s freedom of speech.

Don’t feel guilty if you’re one of them, I suggest you to smile and laugh. Forget all those radical comments. This is 21st century and it’s not the World War II. Don’t be afraid of all the threats that the radicals make because even radicals love to eat KFC’s chickens.

It’s fine to have a little bit of America in you. It’s fine to have a little bit of France or Japan in you. You shouldn’t be ashamed of yourself as long as the Indonesian factor in your blood dominates your way of thinking.

Having a little bit of something else from other countries gives you a better perspective in looking at this world. It also gives you the ability to make great changes to your community.

I encourage every young Indonesian who currently lives in a foreign land to learn new things as many as possible. If you live in an advanced country then you have a better chance to teach our people on how other culture can progress.

Let those Americans laugh thinking that we want to be like them, but let’s keep it inside that someday we will laugh together with them.

The picture above was taken from here.

Dangdut singer Dewi Persik is now officially banned in Bandung, Tangerang, and Depok. It is most likely that other cities will follow as the latest news shows that even her ex husband Saiful Jamil would also ban her if he was elected vice mayor of Serang.

Although she bravely claims that she’s not afraid and will keep doing the thing that she’s been doing for years I’m sure deep down inside she feels sad knowing the fact that some people put the label “haram” on her.

Some women may support Dewi Persik and claim that she is just a proof of how unjust this world is, especialy Indonesia. Men can easily get aroused without getting sued or banned while a woman who wears sexy clothes or shows erotic gestures will quickly be called najis.

Some women think that Dewi Persik shouldn’t be banned at all. They think people should be granted freedom and let God decide whether or not one is immoral.

Other women may approve the ban saying that such action must be done in order to save the country from immoral behavior.

What about the men? It’s a tricky question, but I think most Indonesian men are trying to avoid this discussion as some of them are just big fans of singers like Dewi Persik.

I feel trapped in the middle. I have a mother who thinks that the erotic dances of some Indonesian dangdut singers have crossed the line, she thinks they’re just disgusting. But at the same time I have a lot friends who think that people should be free and we just can’t judge others so arrogantly.

What do you think?

Educated Indonesians may mock Dewi Persik. We think she’s just a big joke, dressing like a clown and thinking that she looks hot and sexy. Well, she looks pretty hot sometimes, men have to admit that. But, for all those tukang becak, tukang ojek, and mas-mas out there, Dewi Persik without a doubt is their wildest fantasy.

I know you’re laughing now picturing how even mas-mas have a wild fantasy. They’re still human after all.

The debate of who’s right and wrong on this issue seems to have no ending. Just like any other thing in life, we’ll always have people who support and don’t support. There’ll be people who agree and disagree. The winner will be decided on how many supporters one side has.

At this point it seems that there are more people who support the ban than the ones who disapprove. It might be a sign that Indonesia is indeed a religious country where most of its people condemn immoral behavior.

Or is it because all those mas-mas just don’t have a voice in this country? Do they really care about moral and immoral behavior when all they want to have is a good and cheap entertainment? You have to keep in mind that while educated and rich people in big cities have so many choices for entertainment, from watching movies to going to nightclubs, those mas-mas literally don’t have many choices after a long and tiring walk pushing their gerobak.

Now that Dewi Persik has been banned in several cities, who does suffer the most? Is it Dewi Persik as the victim of “unjust” society who can still sing and goyang in other cities or those mas-mas in Bandung, Tangerang, and Depok who can’t enjoy their favorite entertainment anymore?

You decide.

Picture: Backstage crews fixing Dewi Persik’s top, taken from here.

If you are a big fan of Unilever’s brand Dove, think again. Unilever positions Dove as a brand that helps women bring out their real inner beauty. Dove tells women not to be shy of how fat they may look or how old they may seem, just be confident and be yourself.

But as an Indonesian woman, you should now find out the process that Dove has to go through in order to be able to bring out your real inner beauty.

I admit that I’m not an environmentalist but I believe that you don’t have to be an environmentalist to be able to save the earth. I think every small step counts.

I think it should be our concern, especially Indonesian women, that Dove is accussed for driving forest destruction in Indonesia. I think we should pay a big attention to the accusation since it doesn’t come from our own government who is famous in giving political-driven statements. It’s Greenpeace who is blaming Dove to be the reason why we Indonesians have to lose our trees every single day.

What Greenpeace says on Dove:

Unilever, the company behind products like Dove soap, is driving forest destruction and speeding up climate change by buying palm oil from companies which are destroying Indonesia’s rainforests to make way for palm oil plantations. By their own admission, Unilever is the biggest single user of palm oil in the world.

Unilever pretends to be an environmentally responsible company, but what it is actually responsible for is destroying areas of rainforest, driving species extinction and speeding up global warming. Being one of the biggest users of palm oil on the planet, Unilever must stop buying palm oil from these companies and call for a halt on the destruction of Indonesian forests to grow palm oil.

I myself have signed the open letter provided by Greenpeace to tell Unilever CEO Patrick Cescau to stop buying palm oil from companies in Indonesia so that more trees and animals can be saved.

I hope you do too and let the world know that young Indonesians won’t let those big companies destroy our forests!

As an elementary student in Indonesia Pelajaran Moral Pancasila (PMP) was my favorite. I loved it so much because the questions were so predictable. I didn’t have to study hard for every test because I just had to memorize all the things in the text book. When answering I added lots of unimportant things just to make my answers look long and sophisticated.

One of my all-time-favorite questions was that kind of question where I had to explain the nature of Indonesians. It was so easy because all my PMP teachers asked this kind of question all the time.

My answer would be like, “Indonesians are very nice people. We are tolerant, friendly, and helpful to others. That was the reason why the Netherlands was so much accepted when they first came to Indonesia, something that Indonesia would later regret for the next three centuries.”

But it’s sad to say that is not the kind of Indonesians I experienced in my six years of living in Jakarta. I didn’t see the nice and friendly Indonesians on the streets and at other various places. Everywhere I went I met people who were just too arrogant.

I’m not happy to tell you that after living less than two years in Washington, D.C. I’ve met more people smiling at me here than when I was in Jakarta. I know it’s not fair to compare Jakarta with Washington, D.C. since Jakarta is not just a capital city but also the center of business and economy.

I seriously think that Indonesians and people of Jakarta should smile more and be nice to others, even to people they meet randomly on the streets. I know it’s not easy since life is just so hard for most people in Indonesia. But smiling to others won’t make us poorer, will it? I don’t think so.

I still honestly think that most Indonesians are nice and friendly people. I remember when I visited Malang with my mother in 2003, people there were so warm, humble, and friendly. Maybe people in Jakarta can learn from people in small cities on how to smile more.

Jakarta with more smiles, will that be possible? It’s really up to us.

In my opinion, smiling is not a difficult thing to do. I don’t know if it is for some people. I know it’s not easy to smile when we’re sad, I’m not a smiling expert by the way. But, I know very well how Indonesians love to laugh so loud with their friends. I myself had the greatest time hanging out with friends in Jakarta and I know for sure how laughing so hard is part of our culture.

If we can be so much friendly to our friends, why not to other people too? You don’t have to laugh, a smile will be more than enough.

Having a dream to have a smiling society may sound funny but I do believe that Indonesians including people of Jakarta are the kind of people who love to be nice and friendly. It’s just the condition in Jakarta that’s just too hectic for most people: The traffic, the floods, the pollution, or the public transportation. All those things just make us forget how beautiful it is to smile

Thanks to Al Gore and other environmentalists the concern of global warming is rapidly growing throughout the world, mostly in the West. In America, for example, people talk this issue every day. At bookstores people are reading books and magazines giving them instructions how to be green and be part of a global movement to save the earth.

As a response to public awareness, industries are helping their customers to become greener and greener. Supermarkets are stocking their shelves with organic and eco-friendly products. Whole Foods Market, the world’s leading retailer of natural and organic food, is growing fast by giving its customers a promise that the food they buy will help saving the earth.

Despite the fact that U.S. government is still unwilling to sign the Kyoto Protocol, every day new organic products are filling supermarkets’ stock lists in America. Now they have organic apple, organic bread, organic burgers, organic lipstick, and a bunch of other organic products.

Someone once told me that organic chicken tastes better than the regular chicken. I got confused and complained, “How could that be?” She explained that an organic chicken is fed only with organic grains, never given any antibiotics and hormones, and raised in a stress-free environment. Now I know that a happy chicken tastes better. I later added, “We have that kind of chicken in our country too, it’s called ayam kampung.” Keep Reading and Let’s Save the Earth!

Fitna is a controversial short movie produced by a controverisal Dutch politician Geert Wilders. It was released on the internet on March 27, 2008.

As expected, the movie has been creating a histerical protest in the Muslim world. In Indonesia, Islamic organizations have made strong statements on the movie and its creator Geert Wilders. They ban the movie and point their fingers at Geert Wilders to be the guilty one.

The Indonesian President Susilo Bambang Yudhono has supported public opinion by banning the movie in Indonesia.

I have seen the movie on YouTube and I have to say that the movie is cheap. I have to say Geert Wilders is not as smart as I thought he was. The movie is simply stupid and disgusting.

There two things that Fitna mainly shows: Disturbing verses from the Quran mainly on jihad and statements of Islamic radicals.

What Wilders is trying to do is proving to the world that Islam is indeed a religion of terror which in my opinion is irresponsible and so selfish. Read The Full Article!